Feeling Hole Again...

...now that I have my hole back in my nose.

SoooooooooooBooooooooooored

I am sooooooooooboooooooooored. My head keeps dropping at my desk. Bored bored bored. Bored. I would rather have Judy tell me a story than do this right now.

BREAKING NEWS FROM WHITE PASS SNOW BUNNY

FROM "Unknown32387@aol.com"
TO jmsultan@gmail.com
DATE 30-ene-2008 18:18
SUBJECT (no subject)


Hey this is Eric from white pass in the rental shop. sorry i never called or emailed you sooner i have been really busy with school work and the Fire Dept. but this is my AOL email but if you ever get on my space you can find me on there at http://www.myspace.com/elj323 or you can call 509-961-1903 if i don't answer leave a message

Shfifty Five!!!!

BREAKING NEWS

In a sudden act of true charity and amazingness reminiscent of a young Ghandi, Judy Sultan has embarked on a fundraising goal of $800 in an effort to support the fight against the devastating effects of multiple sclerosis. She will also be biking from Houston to Austin on a tiny little bike seat sticking up her a$$.

She asks that anyone reading this post make it rain in order to achieve her altruistic goals. Any amount is greatly appreciated. For those who make it thunderstorm, the selfless WGL will return the favor in the immediate future, though making it sprinkle is still welcomed. Let's just say her last client, aka donor, generously gave $400, but Judy was still just as happy with $4. AND her WGL ways are tax deductible.

Thank you in advance and may God bless you in ways you never imagined. Thank you!

DONATE HERE

Dear Diary....

So today I felt like shit. For several reasons. See below:

1) I lost my bike for good now.

2) I'm single.

3) I'm incredibly good looking and single.

4) I'm the WGL and single. (oxymoron, I know)

5) My best buds are not near.

6) My best buds are far.

7) There is far too little yellow in the world.

8) F*&# everyone that said I couldn't have a bike.

9) F*&$ the Philippines!

10) F@#$ not cursing enough before in my life.

11) F#$@!

12) F@&^ YOU, I'M NOT REBELLING!

13) I miss Sarah.

14) Ahmed, I miss you too but not as much because you're visiting soon and you live 2 hours away.

15) I miss snow. I wish I lived near it so I could snowboard every weekend.

16) Is everyone reading this wondering, "Is everything ok Judy?"

17) Yes, guys, it's an "I Want More Yellow!!!" blog....although I petition to add one more exclamation mark.

18) I think we should hold a Bachelorette show in my backyard and have contestants and games to win my heart. And commercials. Especially that ESPN one with KG.

19) I am officially a FEMENINENIST. I hate boys!

20) F&$% GUYS!

21) F$*@ #21-23

24) I don't know what it is about the #4....

Quote from My Favorite 52 year old white guy

"I wake up every day and thank God I wasn't born cajun."

"Chris Williams...(pause) he owns a cat...(pause) he must be gay."

"Chris Matthews is like that annoying, obnoxious kid in school that everyone wanted to beat up but couldn't because the teacher was looking out for him."

"When I was 6, I asked my dad what a Governor was because I heard something about a Governor on the radio. He told me it was part of a car engine that controls how fast it was. He hated politics. Son of a bitch."

After hearing a commercial for the Austin Jewish Festival on the radio:"The Austin Jewish Festival, that's almost as bad as the Austin French Festival. It could get worse though; it could be the Austin French Jew Festival"

Scene: Local Sandwich Shop
Shop Owner: Where is that lady that used to work with you?
Customer: Oh she doesn't come over here. She brings her own lunch...she's Chinese.

Congratulations!

MoreYellow would like to congratulate the recipient of the World's Greatest Lover award in the female division, JuJu. We at moreyellow.blogspot.com are proud and honored to have such an accomplished human being in our group. Thank you for letting us be in the presence of greatness.

There Will Be a Slight Amount of Blood

I'm debating whether to bring charges against Paul Thomas Anderson for his false advertising in the title of his new movie, There Will Be Blood. I was under the impression that this was like the purposely understated warning at Six Flags for all water rides, "You will get wet". Alas, roughly 3 hours into the movie I was still asking, where is the blood? I also asked, where is the dialog? And, where is the plot line? (oh yeah, and where is the yellow?) I saw a trailer for it after I saw the movie and the trailer was really slow and boring. I thought it was just to suck you in because you really didn't know what the movie was about but the fact is they couldn't find any exciting parts to put into the trailer because they didn't exist. I really want the preacher to go the studio and give a sermon over the a movie projector playing this film, it would go something like this:
"Listen devil, I will tell you one last time. I will be very calm and subdued. Get out of here boring. Get out of here and bring on the excitement of the 21st century cinematic experience. Bring on a little bit of action. Listen devil, rid us of your boring presence. I will f**k you out of this movie. GET OUT OF HERE BORING!"

Pensive Mood

So, my boss found out I was looking at other jobs....oh the power of the Internet. Crazy, huh? Not as crazy as the weekend I had in Dallas. I wish Sarah was there! Although I consistently brought conversations with others in Dallas back to the real issues like how cool Sarah is or how I wish Sarah was here. I did pretend that Najla was Sarah at one point, I'm not gonna lie. But alas, there is no replacement.

In other news, I got my belly button pierced (aka navel). I can't post that on the Internet though because my boss might find it like he found my resume online as well. Resume is one thing...Judy's fine ass abs are another....but on the other hand, now that I think about it....just kidding.

One last order of business. I can't believe Hamza's freaking married. Guys (Sarah this part does not pertain to you) -- we need to get a MOVE ON. We are now bumped up to ORANGE ALERT. Terrorist attacks from parents on lack of social skills or ability to get married may occur.

Lastly, Sarah, did you get the freakin package yet or not!?

Jack is from Springfield?

So I just got cable yesterday...give me a few days to catch up to Project Runway. One thing however that I would like to point out is the similarity between recently departed Staph-infected Jack and a certain cartoon character:

Its called moreYELLOW.blogspot.com...

NOT moreKG.blogspot.com. If we keep being inundated by KG posts, we might have to go back to some KG degrading title to balance things out. Sarah isn't missing out on ANYTHING this weekend because, really, sexy time with those two is overrated. And I'm going to Seattle. Jealous much?

Today's News: Eddie House is carrying the team.

And Then There Were 7

Last night Kit got "auf"ed by Heidi. She was in the bottom two with everyone's favorite gay arab Rami. I'm sick of Project Runway and America's Next Top Model judging people completely on that week of work. If you're this far along in the show your body of work can speak for itself. That's why my lovely stripper Lisa got kicked off ANTM this season when she was obviously the best model out there. Now its Kit. I don't think she's been in the bottom scores yet this season. Then all of a sudden her team has a bad week and she gets the boot. Sweet P, Chris (who's already been aufed once), and that fag that keeps crying every show, Ricky, are still on there. Ricky was on Kit's team, he should have gone. I think Heidi is afraid Ricky's levees will break and he will flood the studio with gay tears and they'll have to bring in Tim Gunn and the National Guard to clean things up. I hate Ricky. If Rami gets aufed because he has a bad week in like 3 or 4 weeks, I'm gonna be back and much more pissed.

KG 4 The Day

Are my KG posts annoying yet?

In Other News....

4. KG stops the C's skid. Ok well Allen really does, but we all know who's really the boss.

3. Judy refers to herself in the third person.

2. Judy decided to try working out (starting tomorrow) to look like this girl:


1. Judy didn't talk to "someone" for a day. About f'in time.


Worth Noting: Sarah will again miss a sexy time reunion this weekend with Ahmed and Judy....*sniffle*

When KG Suffers, I Suffer

KG 4 MVP

Dear Diary....

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Only the Greatest Video of All Time

Birthday Weekend

Here are a few lists from this weekend

Top 5 Things that Jessica Simpson touches that "Go Down"

5. Nick Lachey (was he ever up)

4. Countrywide Stock (look it up dummy)

3. Monica Lewinsky

2. Bob Dole

1. Tony Romo (sorry Cowboys fans)

#1 Thing that Needs MORE YELLOW:

Buffalo Wild Wings Menu

#1 Person Who Can Hold a Candle:

Murray Hewitt (and a mouse pad)

Murray Doesn't Hold a Candle

Kevin Garnett is A-Ok

In response to the last post by JuJu, the previous blog title "Kevin Garnett Is A Punk" is no longer appropriate. Anyone who can seamlessly weave in her love for the number 4, subtly insult a Darrat, and proclaim the importance of more yellow in life deserves more respect for her choice of NBA athletes. Now I think that we can all agree that I Want More Yellow!

Today's News: Judy managed an insult, though pigs have remained grounded.

What I've Learned in 25 Years....

10. Ok just joking, you know I haven't learned 10 things yet...I'll skip to #4.

4. Kevin Garnett is awesome. Most people will hate on him.

3. As of late, I realized not only am I the world's greatest lover, but also, I do not tell the worst stories of all time. In a twisted hand of fate, the worst storyteller of all time is actually a Darrat descendant.

2. Anyone even indirectly from the Philippines is trouble.

1. You can never have too much yellow! (Or Sarah and Ahmed)

This Day In History

Top 10 Events of this January 11th In History:

10. 1961: Non-Drip Windex is invented by Fredrick Vandenmeer in Amsterdam. Little known fact is that the Non-Drip Windex actually penetrates the surface its on to allow for the non-dripage of its moisture contents.

9. 1974: Drug addicts in Harlem use a world record 87,431 hypodermic needles to penetrate their skin and inject moist Heroin into their blood stream.

8. 2001: Ernesto Pedro Ruiz is crowned the World's Greatest Lover in Stockholm, Sweden during the World Potato Eating Festival. He has held the title since that day. Upon his victory Ruiz was quoted as saying, "Muy bueno" which is interesting because he's Chinese.

7 to 3. I lost these pages of the history book. I think I ran out of toilet paper one day and I figured these were disposable.

2. 1983: Judy S. was born.

1. 1999: David Hasselhoff performs for final time in Essen, Germany infront of a crowd of 34,679 people. My how those Germans love them some Hasselhoff.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Moreyellow.blogspot.com would like to extend warm birthday wishes to our favorite writer, Judy S. 25 will be an exciting year for you...all the car rentals you want and...that's about it. Hope you have a great birthday, everyone at moreyellow.blogspot.com loves you and are thankful for January 11, 1983 for marking the beginning of one of the happier eras in human history.

Welcome

Hello friends, I don't know who will be reading this but I feel the need to first and foremost apologize on behalf of my sister/best friend. She's so out of the loop that she doesn't know that ANTM Cycle 9 is over and Saleisha won, even though we all know that Lisa was by far the hottest. She just got ousted because she used to be a stripper. While we're here I'd like to note that I'm not gay at all. I promise. I just like gay TV shows like ANTM and Project Runway. I also enjoy The Wire and American Gangster (the TV show) and that doesn't mean I'm a drug dealer. We'll that's my first post. Soon there will be lots of lies and facts thrown into my posts, you'll have to weed them out yourself.

Welcome Friends, Brothers...

It's almost 5:00...I refuse to be productive in the last 30minutes...so I have to write the inaugural post...So welcome, to my brother and friend. Once I have television in my life again, I will have something thought-provoking to write, but for now I have no idea what's going on with Britney Spears or who got voted off of America's Next Top Model. Please don't kick me out of the family, I will get back on the ball soon I promise. In the meantime, MORE YELLOW!

Today's News: All the girls like Ahmed (we said this was going to be a satirical blog, right?)